he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Randomize
