all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
