i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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