after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You are a genius and a whore.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
