I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Randomize
