just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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