my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Is Oprah even human
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
