so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Who wears a wallet chain?!
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Randomize
