He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
