I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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