You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
You don't make any sense
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