I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
