i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
