How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
