all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
So squirting runs in the family.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
