I'm really into asian looking animals
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
