On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
