Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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