It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
