all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
