He uses pillows to masturbate.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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