i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
