Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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