I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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