I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
