just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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