so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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