Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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