Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
