It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
