Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
