my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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