I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
