Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
