Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
