did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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