Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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