super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
