I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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