i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
