I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
