never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
