One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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