Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Send us your Text From Last Night!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Shame is for Republicans.
