Texts From Last Night · praiseloki's Favorites

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praiseloki's Favorites Texts:

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.

Fav 17 2948 1114
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(775): View more from Nevada

Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.

Fav 1 1007 1425
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(604): View more from British Columbia

After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.

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(909): View more from California

No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.

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(312): View more from Illinois

I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird

Fav 3 1616 815
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(941): View more from Florida

Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?

Fav 4 2048 869
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(305): View more from Florida

quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you

Fav 9 5590 1261
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