Texts From Last Night · beach234's Favorites

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beach234's Favorites Texts:

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(248): View more from Michigan

She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."

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(732): View more from New Jersey

her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.

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(480): View more from Arizona

There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.

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(206): View more from Washington

He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom

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(970): View more from Colorado

Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.

(970): View more from Colorado

Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.

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(415): View more from California

Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks

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