Texts From Last Night

(407): View more from Florida

I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.

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thanks, by the way.....

Submitted by Rubes_Carnies on Jul 19, 10 at 11:20am

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A poptart makes everything better

Submitted by beerjunkie on Jul 19, 10 at 2:10pm

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did yah toast it first?

Submitted by JonerBoner on Jul 19, 10 at 3:53pm

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That was very generous of you.

Submitted by strikerz890 on Jul 8, 11 at 1:00am

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Firsty get killed

Submitted by getkilled on Jul 19, 10 at 12:52pm

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You're a wonderful person

Submitted by Biscotti187 on Jul 19, 10 at 4:16pm

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a kind soul

Submitted by M2DOOM on Jul 21, 10 at 10:09pm

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These poptarts are making me firsty

Submitted by f1rsty on Jul 19, 10 at 11:22am

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Fools

Submitted by foolishfool on Jul 19, 10 at 11:57pm

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Was he an Indian with a guy who looked like Jim Morrison

Submitted by leadbelly on Jul 19, 10 at 9:17pm

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Stepped On A Poptart

Submitted by APromiseToBurn on Jul 19, 10 at 12:12pm

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- That's "stepped on a pop-top." "Margaritaville" was written during the days when beer and soda cans had removable pull-tabs. People often discarded the pull-tabs on the ground, where they were a hazard to people walking barefoot.
  
  Submitted by GetOffMyLawn on Jul 19, 10 at 12:38pm
  
  119 181
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  - wtf..
    
    Submitted by dozedoff on Jul 22, 10 at 11:13pm
    
    100 147
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What this world needs is a few more pop tarts.

Submitted by cleotis on Jul 19, 10 at 10:59pm

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Should have given him pretzels

Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 19, 10 at 2:16pm

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these tflns have gotten progressively worse over the past month

Submitted by guff1991 on Jul 19, 10 at 11:14am

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The poptart hads teh roofys

Submitted by GsusLikesWafls on Jul 19, 10 at 2:42pm

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9:17- wayne's world ftw.

Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 20, 10 at 4:53am

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And heres a glass of chardonay for the naked wife.... And some sunscreen..

Submitted by firstyfollower on Jul 19, 10 at 2:03pm

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MyWife... You need to stop now.. Yours wasn't even funny the first time I read it.

Submitted by RimjobBob on Jul 19, 10 at 11:52am

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Yeahh man I'm so high and firsty

Submitted by HighFirsty on Jul 19, 10 at 1:26pm

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You deserve an award.

Submitted by satsukiyami on Jul 19, 10 at 5:25pm

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Thats no naked guy, that's my wife!

Submitted by MyWife on Jul 19, 10 at 11:44am

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Dont worry beer dingo on duty.... Passing out strong brew to those that do not subscribe to firstypalooza.. Beer for you.. You get belgian ale... Ew you get bud lite... Ummm mead for you...and all get pretzels.

Submitted by firstyfollower on Jul 19, 10 at 2:02pm

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Me no likey !

Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 19, 10 at 2:16pm

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Poptarts are yummy but yeah firsty they can make you thirsty.

Submitted by dirtyfirsty on Jul 19, 10 at 12:42pm

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Poptarts make everything better.

Submitted by yamama on Jul 20, 10 at 2:03am

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I now have a shred of hope left in man kind

Submitted by johnnyk on Jul 28, 10 at 12:49am

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Security? Please escort douche bag out for unnecessary threats of death to Firsty?!

Submitted by dirtyfirsty on Jul 19, 10 at 1:10pm

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Ha wowwww!

Submitted by brixx22 on Jul 21, 10 at 4:05am

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(407): View more from Florida

Comments

Submitted by Rubes_Carnies on Jul 19, 10 at 11:20am

Submitted by beerjunkie on Jul 19, 10 at 2:10pm

Submitted by JonerBoner on Jul 19, 10 at 3:53pm

Submitted by strikerz890 on Jul 8, 11 at 1:00am

Submitted by getkilled on Jul 19, 10 at 12:52pm

Submitted by Biscotti187 on Jul 19, 10 at 4:16pm

Submitted by M2DOOM on Jul 21, 10 at 10:09pm

Submitted by f1rsty on Jul 19, 10 at 11:22am

Submitted by foolishfool on Jul 19, 10 at 11:57pm

Submitted by leadbelly on Jul 19, 10 at 9:17pm

Submitted by APromiseToBurn on Jul 19, 10 at 12:12pm

Submitted by GetOffMyLawn on Jul 19, 10 at 12:38pm

Submitted by dozedoff on Jul 22, 10 at 11:13pm

Submitted by cleotis on Jul 19, 10 at 10:59pm

Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 19, 10 at 2:16pm

Submitted by guff1991 on Jul 19, 10 at 11:14am

Submitted by GsusLikesWafls on Jul 19, 10 at 2:42pm

Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 20, 10 at 4:53am

Submitted by firstyfollower on Jul 19, 10 at 2:03pm

Submitted by RimjobBob on Jul 19, 10 at 11:52am

Submitted by HighFirsty on Jul 19, 10 at 1:26pm

Submitted by satsukiyami on Jul 19, 10 at 5:25pm

Submitted by MyWife on Jul 19, 10 at 11:44am

Submitted by firstyfollower on Jul 19, 10 at 2:02pm

Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 19, 10 at 2:16pm

Submitted by dirtyfirsty on Jul 19, 10 at 12:42pm

Submitted by yamama on Jul 20, 10 at 2:03am

Submitted by johnnyk on Jul 28, 10 at 12:49am

Submitted by dirtyfirsty on Jul 19, 10 at 1:10pm

Submitted by brixx22 on Jul 21, 10 at 4:05am

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