just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
