Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
