i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
